Who made this as a culture?

All the ethnicities have their own cultures.  Sinhalese have their own cultures & rituals. As well as Tamils have their own culture & rituals. Personally I have some contradictory thoughts with the tamil culture.

If you see most of the Tamils specially Hindus keep “pottu”, “flower”. That is some once wish if they like can keep or else no need. But some thinks married people they should keep “pottu” & always should wear “thaali” ( Thaali is sort of a necklace which is put by the groom to the bride on the time of wedding). If a person wishes they can wear those. But I cannot understand why some people forcing to do those kind of things. A respect or love towards the husband should come from the heart & not from this kind of external factors. Also some used to measure a married woman by pottu. Some thinks only a widow should be without pottu & thaali. All the married woman who is with husband should be with those always.

Same time in case a husband dies then they should get rid of all those pottu & thaali. As per that culture a widow should not be with pottu & thaali. They should be very charm. If husband dies obviously the wife will suffer a lot. I do not know with that suffering why they are making her by looks also sad. If a person who is be with all those as soon as she goes in front of the mirror without pottu & thaali it might make her more sad. Also it shows to everyone that she is a widow. If she keeps pottu & wears thaali the society will make thousands of stories about her. Most of the people specially the ladies they are scared of the society & the stories what they make. Because of that even if they like something they will sacrifice it on behalf of others. Rarely some ladies can see who don’t care about what society tells & who lives for their self.

Apart from all those, as a very bad thing what I see is if they have a ceremony or some kind of function they don’t take widows to front. Even if it’s a function of her own child the major part should be taken by a lady who is living with her husband. Not the widow. They think her as bad luck. If husband dies for some reason what can the wife do for it. How can it be her bad luck? Same time if wife dies they do not treat the husband in such a way. Mostly all the restriction is for the ladies.

Nowadays these kind of stupid cultures are bit reducing. But still there is lot of people who is practicing those, especially in rural areas & mostly in some parts of India. When this kind of things will change??????????